i learned how to love myself by paying attention
to what makes me feel good and what drains me. everything and everyone
who drains me, has to go.
pernah datang, tapi hilang.
kemudian, ada suara bertanya, "kenapa hilang?"
aku termangu.
andai aku ada jawapan untuk soalan itu, sudah aku
hebahkan pada dunia. bukan cuma pada kau, tapi pada dunia.
aku berjalan lagi. aku tempuh lagi. aku seret lagi.
aku temu dia. namun bukan sesiapa.
hilang lagi. (20Oct2015)
"when you have loved unconditionally one man
and lost that love, it leaves a wound that never heals, a sad
and broken heart, a void forever. so, I die tonight and the reason
remains unknown, tell not the whole world, but the one
I love that I died of a broken heart, not because
he loved me too little but because I loved him too much."
terlalu rindukan saat dia ingatkan, "kahfi sudah?"
"yassin sudah?"
"al-mulk sudah?"
moga awak tenang di sana.
